i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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