Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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