it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
porn star boner night. come get it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
