dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
