just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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