You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im holly from the hills drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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