You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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