if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
