dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
