Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
