On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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