why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
