My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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