i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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