ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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