What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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