I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just cropdusted the office
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
