HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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