I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My dad just said "fuck circus"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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