big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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