thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
