Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this just has baby written all over it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
