I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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