Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
