So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
