Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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