just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
