just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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