I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
