hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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