We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
