this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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