party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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