You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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