someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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