The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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