Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's blow job season.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
