I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
