he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.