My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.