omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
