Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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