my sisters under your porch take her home
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
