Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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