Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
