it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
