Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
