my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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