We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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