Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
