it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
