You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
