dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
