she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
