Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
do nipples grow back?
Randomize