Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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