you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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