Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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