Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize