in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how does that bad decision feel?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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