dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
