alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
