remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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