Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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