If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
