Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
